true friends accept you even when you're at your worst

 Here I am..

all this while thinking I have true friends that will accept me when I'm at my worst

but when I show that I'm at a low point,

i feel like an outcast

I feel like I'm no longer needed, nor wanted 

I feel isolated

and it hurts even more as the expectations I have from them is different

I expect them to pull me back in and be there for me

not isolate me, and make me feel unwanted

making conversations among them, excluding myself.

Laughing at jokes among them, excluding myself.

Making me feel guilty for not feeling guilty enough,

I was sad, and now I'm just disappointed.

I always known that in the end, I only have myself to rely upon.

But I guess subconciously I wanted them to prove me wrong and show that they still want me around even when I'm not all smiles and laughter.

 I guess I'm wrong..

no, not a guess.

now I know that I'm wrong.