acknowledging that dark side in my head

I understand I ~may~ have unresolved anger and issues
with the man figure in my life.

I admit and acknowledge that now
I have to since the person I rely the most on is gone
and now I only have myself, true
but I wish to rely even the tiniest bit to other ppl in my life

and to do that,
I need to have a super long family dinner
to discuss from aA to zZ.

Am i ready for tht?
Nope.

Am i evading the subject?
you bet i am.