Mek Yam Binti Jusoh

“i will get well before you go back”

like before like always

i want to find comfort in yr words

believing and trusting you

i want, i have to know that you are right

but this time i cried 

- 24th July 2018 

I miss you umi..and I will always miss you. That's the different now that you are gone. This feeling of longing is never ending...until we meet again in Heaven, InsyaAllah. 

Umi, you hid your pain by assuring us that your health is improving. Every single time we asked, you will always always smile while telling us that you are feeling better. We didn't know you are weakening because of cancer. We knew you were diagnosed with cancer, and then you said you were only "suspected" of cancer. We didn't know you are already at stage 3 in 2016, and you were given 3 months to live. Umi, I understand why you did that :( My dearest Umi is so strong, she survived for 2 years without chemo nor radiotherapy. Woman of mind over matter. 

I spent my life growing up to be the best version of myself, being away from home for almost half of my life. Away from you. But you know, I have no regrets. Because you are such a wonderful Umi, you even encourage me to pursue success even if that means you part from your little girl. 

Thank you Allah for sending me messages to spend more time with you. Thank you Allah for not making me forget that you are waiting for me at home everytime I went out. Thank you Allah for helping me to decide to come home this summer instead of doing my internship in UK. Thank you Allah for arranging the timeline such that I had one whole week with my Umi. Thank you Allah for lending me such a wonderful Umi to whom I will always forever look up to. To lend me a loving Umi that shows love in her own way. To give me 22 amazing years to understand her and appreciate her in so many ways I wish I had done sooner. I miss her Allah, please take care of my Umi, ringankanlah azab kuburnya, lapangkan kuburnya dan tempatkan Almarhum di kalangan orang orang yang beriman. She went to meet her creator in her sleep with a smile on her face. Somehow I'm relieved you decided to go because now, you are no longer in pain. Rest now Umi, see you soon.