tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1627198640084471292024-03-13T08:56:13.946+08:00Qistina Maslan<center>I don't write for your pleasure</center>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger460125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-72154115626017343812022-02-26T11:21:00.001+08:002022-02-26T11:21:09.356+08:00sickness and loneliness<p>being sick makes you lonely</p><p>being sick makes you even lonelier</p><p>I figured out that one of the reasons I want a partner is because I want to feel loved. </p><p>Loved, cared and prioritised. I want to be a priority. Like, when I'm sick, everyday s/he'll text me to ask how I am doing. And s/he won't be too busy to check up on me, because I am one of their priorities. </p><p><br /></p><p>Ah, this is why I like writing, now that I write what I want, i feel like an entitled bitch haha</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-75057529221786224782022-01-22T20:47:00.002+08:002022-01-22T20:47:26.988+08:00<p> I'm not independent, I'm the opposite.</p><p>I cant be alone with myself anymore.</p><p>I don't trust my thoughts anymore, that sucks because I used to be my own bestfriend, now I hate my bestfriend.</p><p>I thought I'm patient. </p><p>but I'm the opposite. i cant wait long enough, i choose the easy way out.</p><p>I choose the easy way out, eventhough it's wrong.</p><p>And that is another reason why I hate myself. </p><p>Even more. </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-89369446559457590062021-12-01T13:13:00.001+08:002021-12-01T13:13:02.603+08:00true friends accept you even when you're at your worst<p> Here I am..</p><p>all this while thinking I have true friends that will accept me when I'm at my worst</p><p>but when I show that I'm at a low point,</p><p>i feel like an outcast</p><p>I feel like I'm no longer needed, nor wanted </p><p><br /></p><p>I feel isolated</p><p>and it hurts even more as the expectations I have from them is different</p><p>I expect them to pull me back in and be there for me</p><p>not isolate me, and make me feel unwanted</p><p>making conversations among them, excluding myself.</p><p>Laughing at jokes among them, excluding myself.</p><p>Making me feel guilty for not feeling guilty enough,</p><p>I was sad, and now I'm just disappointed.</p><p><br /></p><p>I always known that in the end, I only have myself to rely upon.</p><p>But I guess subconciously I wanted them to prove me wrong and show that they still want me around even when I'm not all smiles and laughter.</p><p> I guess I'm wrong..</p><p>no, not a guess.</p><p>now I know that I'm wrong. </p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-29094502765992637792021-10-14T21:41:00.004+08:002021-10-14T21:41:52.133+08:00penat rasa sedih<p> I'm sad..</p><p>I'm really sad..</p><p>and I'm tired of feeling sad</p><p>tired to ride this wave of deep and immense void</p><p>I'm sad that i have no one i can turn to and tell about what i feel without making them feel burdened by my existence </p><p><br /></p><p>i feel like i am alone</p><p>alone and fighting the world</p><p>i am just so tired</p><p>tired of being sad</p><p>so so tired</p><p>i want to stop feeling sad</p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-11681255875077791792021-09-20T21:19:00.001+08:002021-09-20T21:19:33.702+08:00how following the flow can be fatal<p>i've always known that being grateful is the master key to being happy</p><p>and every time someone ask my plan in 5 years to come,</p><p>I'm so inclined to answer "to be happy" but come on, no recruiter wants to hear that</p><p>yikes, even none recruiter pun taknak dengar tu- it's just so cringey isnt it?</p><p>but it's the truth..i just want to be happy and grateful with what I have and what I lost</p><p>I want to be grateful with how I'm living my life these days</p><p>i want to be grateful with what He is withholding from me</p><p>I want to be grateful for the people I cross paths with </p><p>and the people who are no longer in my life</p><p>I want to be grateful</p><p>and so, I want to be happy</p><p><br /></p><p>I want to feel useful, to myself, to my religion, to the community</p><p>I want to feel content and I want to STOP feeling lost</p><p>Sometimes i feel the prayers arent enough to keep me grounded</p><p>and so I started to feel angry..but to whom??</p><p>to whom am I mad at?</p><p>isnt me the one who has the power and responsibility to write my story..?</p><p>So if the storyline is not to my liking, then to whom shall be blamed? if not me?</p><p>Those nights I ask these questions and I myself answer them, it's easier to just pull the blanket and close my eyes</p><p>and drift into the blank and just sleep it away</p><p>it's sad, when sleep is the only thing I wake up for everyday.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-4279222393707470472021-08-10T22:33:00.003+08:002021-08-10T22:33:19.041+08:00<p> everytime i look at my father</p><p>i remember the betrayal</p><p><br /></p><p>and disappointment</p><p>and his failure </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-14830536673677998192021-08-09T21:23:00.002+08:002021-08-09T21:23:36.019+08:00<p> today i cried over something a stranger said to me</p><p>i cried for multiple times over a remarks that poke at my insecurities so deep</p><p>he made me felt a million things i cant explain</p><p>he made me question if I'm too much</p><p>too insensitive </p><p>too not soft</p><p>too ..unlikeable</p><p>he make jokes about me </p><p>he said things that make me angry </p><p>he said things that make me sad</p><p>i don't even like him</p><p>and yet i cry because of the stuffs he said</p><p>i don't care what he thinks</p><p>but i care how he thinks of me</p><p>and i cry when they are unpleasant</p><p>he makes me believe the reason i have no partner is because I'm me</p><p>is because i hurt people with my words</p><p>maybe i am thoughtless with how i say stuffs</p><p>maybe nobody will ever like me </p><p>because I'm me</p><p>he makes me believe that I'm not good enough</p><p>to be loved</p><p>he doesnt even know me..</p><p>I'm not tht bad..right..</p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-4020769970218594602021-08-09T09:54:00.002+08:002021-08-09T09:54:48.348+08:00smaller dream<p>Sometimes there are people who ask if I ever thought of moving away from this country;</p><p>I do;</p><p>I do;</p><p>But I don't dwell on it, when the possibility is thin;</p><p>I don't think of it, I don't talk about it, because once I do, my brain will be set to achieve that</p><p>and I do not know if I'm ready for it,</p><p>and more importantly if it is possible.</p><p>Nothing is impossible- yes, but realistically speaking, is it really possible..now?</p><p>Rather I keep it buried deep down in my heart of desire, soon to be dug out and realised. </p><p>I know this is the dream of mine, that I will be regretting of if I let it slip away and not work towards realising it.</p><p>I want to have a career stint oversea. </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-19154719981107684212020-11-02T19:32:00.002+08:002020-11-02T19:32:23.925+08:00<p> so many things I'm mad about</p><p>so many things i wish i don't have to tolerate</p><p>so many people with so many traits i LOATHE.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>and hence, why I have to walk away. </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-55593855918634976602020-06-19T13:25:00.001+08:002020-06-19T13:25:46.632+08:00acknowledging that dark side in my headI understand I ~may~ have unresolved anger and issues<br />
with the man figure in my life.<br />
<br />
I admit and acknowledge that now<br />
I have to since the person I rely the most on is gone<br />
and now I only have myself, true<br />
but I wish to rely even the tiniest bit to other ppl in my life<br />
<br />
and to do that,<br />
I need to have a super long family dinner<br />
to discuss from aA to zZ.<br />
<br />
Am i ready for tht?<br />
Nope.<br />
<br />
Am i evading the subject?<br />
you bet i am.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-24889546394642703262020-04-24T11:30:00.000+08:002020-04-24T11:49:36.130+08:00stucked<div>
neither here nor there..</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
i grew up thinking i'll be doing amazing stuffs</div>
<div>
and achieve great successes</div>
<div>
breaking my limit</div>
<div>
venturing outside my comfort zone</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
but now i feel like I'm stuck</div>
<div>
in a hole i don't know how to escape from</div>
<div>
this feeling of inadequacy is suffocating i just want to scream</div>
<div>
i feel trapped doing nothing</div>
<div>
yet understand the potential i have</div>
<div>
is now wasted</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
i feel trapped feeling like it's my responsibility to get out</div>
<div>
but i don't know how... i really don't.</div>
<div>
and i cant talk about it</div>
<div>
i don't think anyone will see it the way i see it</div>
<div>
my peers at that stage where they feel triumph over their successes</div>
<div>
I'm trying hard to be happy for them</div>
<div>
but it reminds me of the little things i yet to do</div>
<div>
and I'm stuck</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
so i feel bad</div>
<div>
for myself</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
i feel trapped having to pretend i like it</div>
<div>
when i don't</div>
<div>
i feel trapped fighting hard with positive thoughts</div>
<div>
when all i want is vent and complain</div>
<div>
even for once</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
i feel trapped and unhappy</div>
<div>
and i feel like my friends are not there for me</div>
<div>
not available for me</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
i just feel. stuck. and it's the worst feeling a budding eager full of potential bird can ever feel.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-69792011025176137992019-10-02T23:04:00.001+08:002019-10-02T23:04:26.087+08:00i wish i have a best friend at home/it hurts<div>
you betray my trust </div>
<div>
you betray me </div>
<div>
and that makes you selfish</div>
<div>
because you made that choice alone</div>
<div>
but the consequence, i have to bear it too</div>
<div>
the pain of trying hard to not miss you</div>
<div>
to not think of all the good times we had</div>
<div>
and the pain of hating you</div>
<div>
honestly, what you did</div>
<div>
i dont think i can ever ever evr forgive</div>
<div>
you took away what is left of my mum</div>
<div>
and you took it away</div>
<div>
who and what give you that right?</div>
<div>
youre a piece of shit and i hate you for making me hate you.</div>
<div>
i can never understand ths anger inside of me</div>
<div>
i dont even know if its anger</div>
<div>
or if its hatred</div>
<div>
i loved you and i love you</div>
<div>
and you did this to me </div>
<div>
how could you. </div>
<div>
this cant be undone </div>
<div>
and i hate you for that</div>
<div>
for being selfish</div>
<div>
and hurt me like this</div>
<div>
i can never ever look at you the same way again</div>
<div>
and even after this shit,</div>
<div>
i know i will love you still.</div>
<div>
thts how shitty you are.</div>
<div>
i pray that Allah help me undrstand this feeling</div>
<div>
and help me to see the hikmah of this event</div>
<div>
i pray Allah keep you safe </div>
<div>
and away from me</div>
<div>
I pray Allah protect you from the devils</div>
<div>
and show you the light</div>
<div>
may Allah show you the light</div>
<div>
but just stay away from me</div>
<div>
for now.</div>
<div>
and forever.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-22522558981343084732019-09-12T00:39:00.000+08:002019-09-12T00:39:11.176+08:00can i rely on someone...idki thought i am an independent woman<br />
because depending on your mother..family, that doesnt count right?<br />
you're dependent only if you depend on someone who is not a nucleus family member of yours<br />
so i AM independent.<br />
I am.<br />
because the ppl i depend on- not people, person- is my mother.<br />
does that makes me sounds arrogant??<br />
maybe :(<br />
but i depend a lot on her..i rely on her, and I see her as my safety net<br />
having a safety net, knowing someone will always catch you when you fall<br />
can encourage you to live your life better<br />
without fear<br />
and not holding back<br />
because, worst to worst, you hve them, right?<br />
yep, until they die.<br />
then you dont.<br />
you'll fall..and fall.<br />
and now i dont want to be independent<br />
i want to have someone else who can catch me if i fall<br />
i want to rely on someone.<br />
i dont. want. to be independent anymore<br />
im tired and im tired.<br />
but i dont really have a choice..but to be that.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-36153270921699613142019-06-01T04:01:00.002+08:002019-06-01T04:02:29.022+08:00death reminderneed to tell myself that I can't expect anyone, not even my sisters, to fit in the shoes you left behind. No matter how much I want someone to hear me rant and replace your place, they won't. Nobody will ever. There will be times I wonder how you are doing right now. Having someone you love dearly dead will push you closer to Allah. Remembering death and trying to imagine the life our loved ones are having right now. Are they being punished, questioned by the Angels of Death? Are they scared and alone in the dark? I'll kneel down and out my hands up. Begging for Him to have mercy on my mother. My dear mother, and to protect her from the fire of Hell, the misery of the underworld. There is a hole inside in my heart and I wish somebody tell me how to fill in this gap. Ya Rabb, aren't you supposed to replace whatever you took with something better? Is that even possible? There is nothing I want to do, rather than sleep. Sleep and not wake up.<br />
<br />
This is a cry for help. Don't tell me I dont reach out. I do.....You just dont listen.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-85040934170578254222019-05-09T09:52:00.000+08:002019-05-09T09:52:04.393+08:00raya feelsso..we're having a new tradition now. Visiting your pusara...missing one important person in our family potraits.<br />
<br />
al fatihah..i really really miss my umi.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-36811975889367051962019-01-01T23:03:00.001+08:002019-01-01T23:03:19.956+08:00i wish I'm not a 'dark chocolate' towards life, bitterlife is such a pain in the ass! lol<br />
feelings...are so complex figuring it out is tiring<br />
accepting means defeated<br />
and irrational feelings are not welcomed in my life<br />
but it is in me for what i feel is what i feel<br />
should i validate it?<br />
i must<br />
because it affect other people<br />
and i dont want to be a toxic substance in someone else's life<br />
i hope being happy is as easy<br />
and as achievable<br />
cant remember the last time i was happy<br />
honestly life is a bitch<br />
and i hate having feelingsUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-71071992511336688052018-11-15T18:33:00.001+08:002018-11-15T18:33:42.301+08:00biar bulan berbicara<div class="col-lirik lyrics-body lyric255800" style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; margin: 30px 0px 60px; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="lirik_line" id="line_1" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;">Bulan sabit</span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_2" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;">Yang jatuh dipelataran</span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_3" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;">Bintang redup</span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_4" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;">Tanpa cahaya gemintang</span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_5" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;">Langkah tanpa arah</span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_6" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;">Sesat di jalan yang terang</span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_7" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;">Aku yang terlena dibuai pelukan dosa</span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_8" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;"><br /></span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_9" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;">Ingin pulang membalut luka hatimu</span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_10" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;">Ku pun tahu betapa pedih batinmu</span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_11" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;">Beri kesempatan atau jatuhkan hukuman</span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_12" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;">Andai maaf pun tak kau berikan</span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_13" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;">Air mata tulus jatuh di sudut bibir mu</span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_14" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;">Tak terlintas dendam di bening mata indah mu</span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_15" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;">Aku yang merasa sangat berdosa pada mu</span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_16" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;">Masih pantaskah mendampingi mu</span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_17" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;"><br /></span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_18" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;">Biarlah bulan bicara sendiri</span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_19" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;">Biarlah bintang kan menjadi saksi</span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_20" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;">Takkan kuulangi walau sampai akhir nanti</span><span class="lirik_line" id="line_20" style="display: block; padding: 0px 5px;">Cukup derita sampai di sini</span></blockquote>
<br />
It was at night and it was dark, four of us in the car driving to Genting Highlands, and you had Broerey Marantika's album playing on the radio. Good ol' days.<br />
<br />
<img id="share-lyrics" src="https://cdns.klimg.com/kapanlagi.com/v5/i/channel/lirik/btn-share.png" style="border: 0px; cursor: pointer; left: 420px; position: absolute; top: 517px; vertical-align: middle; visibility: visible;" title="Share lyrics on Facebook" /></div>
<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-58957905751558803452018-11-12T05:01:00.001+08:002018-11-12T05:01:07.214+08:00i miss you umi<br />
its suffocating literally..i feel like my chest is being held down by something<br />
like something is bursting from the inside<br />
and i dont know how to make it feel better<br />
i just want to sleep all day because i cant do this anymore<br />
how do i make it go away<br />
how do i make the flashbacks stop<br />
and how do i contain this feeling of longingness<br />
umi please come back<br />
umi<br />
umi<br />
umi<br />
umi<br />
.....ya allah, aku rindu umi.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-84884246116002523172018-09-07T23:59:00.000+08:002018-09-07T23:59:26.313+08:00i could be driving, and i get flashes of images of your last moment<div>
i could be watching tv and suddenly i feel a huge wave of longing to go upstairs and see you</div>
<div>
i could be eating and my phone feels like video calling you</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
someone tell me how to overcome this?</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-60695530041998458372018-08-22T00:19:00.004+08:002018-08-22T00:19:48.244+08:00Mek Yam Binti Jusoh<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdUvkXj2A2Z1kZ5C_wg8mbCnFkJkRXFqGV4B0S_euQxkPExc-Iff7-A2NkwHlUYoRuzWVO2tazSkrSuv5WStKDnwgOIFptzOIscG5JiUSfoxMGGw4F7r4gHR2bCVWscICXTYU1_19GNw/s1600/IMG_2921.JPG" imageanchor="1"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdUvkXj2A2Z1kZ5C_wg8mbCnFkJkRXFqGV4B0S_euQxkPExc-Iff7-A2NkwHlUYoRuzWVO2tazSkrSuv5WStKDnwgOIFptzOIscG5JiUSfoxMGGw4F7r4gHR2bCVWscICXTYU1_19GNw/s320/IMG_2921.JPG" width="240" /></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">“i will get well before you go back”</span></div>
</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">like before like always</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">i want to find comfort in yr words</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">believing and trusting you</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">i want, i have to know that you are right</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">but this time i cried </span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">- 24th July 2018 </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I miss you umi..and I will always miss you. That's the different now that you are gone. This feeling of longing is never ending...until we meet again in Heaven, InsyaAllah. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Umi, you hid your pain by assuring us that your health is improving. Every single time we asked, you will always always smile while telling us that you are feeling better. We didn't know you are weakening because of cancer. We knew you were diagnosed with cancer, and then you said you were only "suspected" of cancer. We didn't know you are already at stage 3 in 2016, and you were given 3 months to live. Umi, I understand why you did that :( My dearest Umi is so strong, she survived for 2 years without chemo nor radiotherapy. Woman of mind over matter. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I spent my life growing up to be the best version of myself, being away from home for almost half of my life. Away from you. But you know, I have no regrets. Because you are such a wonderful Umi, you even encourage me to pursue success even if that means you part from your little girl. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Thank you Allah for sending me messages to spend more time with you. Thank you Allah for not making me forget that you are waiting for me at home everytime I went out. Thank you Allah for helping me to decide to come home this summer instead of doing my internship in UK. Thank you Allah for arranging the timeline such that I had one whole week with my Umi. Thank you Allah for lending me such a wonderful Umi to whom I will always forever look up to. To lend me a loving Umi that shows love in her own way. To give me 22 amazing years to understand her and appreciate her in so many ways I wish I had done sooner. I miss her Allah, please take care of my Umi, ringankanlah azab kuburnya, lapangkan kuburnya dan tempatkan Almarhum di kalangan orang orang yang beriman. She went to meet her creator in her sleep with a smile on her face. Somehow I'm relieved you decided to go because now, you are no longer in pain. Rest now Umi, see you soon.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-74532997792749231162018-08-01T15:19:00.001+08:002018-08-01T15:19:18.683+08:00the art of running awaynow I understand...<br />
how running away is a blessing<br />
<br />
the pain of seeing someone so strong<br />
crumbling, piece by piece<br />
<br />
it doesn't only tear that person apart,<br />
but something inside me broke every time i see her tears<br />
I don't want to be here<br />
I don't want to see her in pain<br />
it makes me weak<br />
makes me scared<br />
and afraid of what is waiting for us in the future<br />
<br />
just cut the act<br />
and be strong again<br />
please tell me you are only acting and pretending<br />
please cut the act<br />
and be strong again..<br />
that's all I hope and wish for.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I just don't want to be here.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-13544293626459308142018-05-08T05:51:00.002+08:002018-05-08T05:51:31.831+08:00somebody..quite a number told me that I'm secretive.<br />
1. because the lesser people know, the lesser they are able to hurt you<br />
2. if I tell them I'll have expectations from them. and i dont like disappointment<br />
3. they don't really care sometimes. they just want stories to hear.<br />
<br />
So next time your friend doesn't want to confide, let them. You are saving yourself. Unless you really care about them.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-35113624410966006982018-03-11T11:18:00.001+08:002018-03-11T11:18:24.600+08:00hero without capeI will always see you as a strong woman<br />
as a woman I look up to<br />
one person I can rely on to<br />
<br />
I will always look for you for advices<br />
for motivation when I need them<br />
to tell me how silly i am acting<br />
for reminder that I shd not waste my time being butthurt with someone<br />
<br />
I will always remember how colourful you are<br />
the way your perfume smell<br />
and the way you wear your floral pants<br />
<br />
I will always treat you with dignity and respect<br />
I will make sure you are always a priority<br />
but it kills me that you are now weak<br />
<br />
it kills me that my strength is suffering<br />
and i am not doing anything to lessen it<br />
I hate the fact that i am far<br />
and i hate looking at your pictures now<br />
<br />
I miss you and I am scared.<br />
I am really scared.<br />
I need you to be the strong one.<br />
I am not ready to be the strong one for you. Not yer,<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-52907851269014715362017-10-15T04:23:00.001+08:002017-10-15T04:23:23.891+08:00maturingshould we do things that we love ?<br />
or should we love ourselves and do things that make us grow?<br />
<br />
What if bearing a responsibility is no longer making you happy?<br />
should you back off? that would only make you a lousy person, no?<br />
<br />
Should you just push yourself to the limit and strive to see how far you can soar?<br />
<br />
and then they want you to decide what you want to do<br />
how do you know that you're ready to decide, when you are not sure what you want ?<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162719864008447129.post-70330556082803808012017-06-11T23:29:00.000+08:002017-06-11T23:29:02.443+08:00different kind of loveyou haven't been gone<br />
and i already started to miss you<br />
<br />
i came back<br />
to a space that felt ridiculously empty<br />
<br />
i sat and do my things<br />
while longing for your presence<br />
<br />
and i thought..<br />
can i manage?<br />
one day<br />
when you'll be gone and i'll be alone<br />
will i be able to endure it?<br />
the pain of missing you...<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0