Thursday, May 7, 2015

The living agony

Does it makes you feel stronger seeing me crumpled ? 
Does it feels good knowing I suffer every seconds? 
Are you satisfied now that Every seconds awake I cant push away the guilt? 
Does it makes you stronger to see me begging for your sympathy? 
Does it takes a lot of your courage to smile at my pain?
I became a begger after I push you away.
I became a living misery knowing that I have to live with my mistakes.
People make mistakes and sometimes make the wrong choices.
I wronged you before and I regret it with my whole heart. 
It's inevitable. The pain is written to be felt. It demand to be felt. 
But Here I am standing, refusing to sink in the dark hole. 
Something used to make me stronger but that something is the one pushing me off the cliff nowadays. 
I wonder, what does it takes for me to lose control of my sanity? 
How much more tears can I invest to finally being able to let it all go ? 
How many days are there for all of you to witness my lifeless soul before I go away? 
How can I know I will survive this pain? 
Who is the one telling me to be strong when all I want to do is giving up? 
Will I survive?
Can I survive? 

I don't know. I honestly don't know. 

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