Sunday, November 18, 2012

Shall tomorrow find its place.

Assalamualaikum readers. Since you're checking on my blog daily *pfft :p ,I'll assume you're a faithful reader.. one who always just can't resist to check on my newest post everyday *im so not bragging :p
So, I guess it's time for me to share my strory :-) Read this, and keep your mind open. And, please don't judge me and the people I'll mention. Thank you.

"Untunglah anak bongsu. Semua dapat. Manja" Aku anak bongsu daripada .. hmm, enam orang adik-beradik. My parents .... My childhood *sigh. Aku membesar , with memories seeing my mum getting ready to work, applying her lipstick and holding her hands to walk her downstairs to have breakfast. I might ate a slice of bread or two .. before she went to work. I remembered smiling ear to ear waiting for my mum, not to forget the eagerness of me , to come home ........... at 11pm. Every day. I remembered crying and bawling .. just to go to her be with her, and being acceptable to be left behind with her secretary instead of being with her, my mother. Sure, I remembered those days when I woke up seeing the space beside me empty. She'd gone............ to work. She was there alright to see me on the stage taking my prizes during primary year. I know she tried. I always know she tried.. to be with us..
Babah, he's too much of a workaholic. I just can't remember a thing... 
They're too busy to be able to feed all of us. Raya yang aku lalui? HaHa :( 
*hey hey, what's with the sympathy? Keep it yall. I don't need it :) I'm doing okayy. Haha.
Sure, I get all I want I guess, if I ask for it. But, I don't ask. I just don't. I grew up, not being taught how to show my affection toward people who I care. I grew up not being taught to say I Love You, not even to my own parents. I was just too plain. My siblings, we don't say "kak long sayang adik". but we just know we care for each other. My brother? I just know they are very protective of me :-) And that is enough to show the strength of our bond. We're siblings by heart and blood. 
Sometimes, I just want to get grounded or wtv that you guys always complained about your parents. I want to get yelled at .. want to get scolded for not doing errands. But no, they raise me up in a different way. My mum never say no to me, never give me doubts whether I can or not do anything.. They just say "Go on. Give it a try." And I grew up thinking "Worst to worst, there's always tomorrow" I guess, that's why I rarely get in the down mood.. perhaps hihi \^.^/ 
If i can wish, I WILL NOT wish another set of parents. I believe every parents on this world has their own style in raising children. So please don't condemn nor judge my parents. They raise me alright. What's the big deal of having a maid.. I think my parents had already work their ass off before and deserve some resting. That's when Bibik come in handy hehe. But hey, I still know how to do some errands.. some hehe. Okay wtv. Eh, remember, don't judge me !! :p

My mum is always the strong one. For me and for the rest of us. 
Yknow what, whenever aku demam, aku tak pernah lah nak kena tuam ke, kena belai 24/7 , kena ooooh aaaaaaah satu hari. NO. They just bring me to the clinic and make sure I have my medications. The rest ? Do it myself. 
Today, seeing her in bed with temperature so high, made me think of all what she've done for us. And I ask myself if I want to be like that someday ... I knew the answer and let me just keep it to myself. Well, not everything we can share with anyone. Some things are meant to be kept to ourselves :-) 

"I can't see you being weak. I just can't stand it.." and so I walked
out of the room.

1 comment:

LemoN~* said...

i know the feeling of seeing someone so strong suddenly looking weak. not the best feeling.