This is..

..what I'm currently having in mind.

This is what I'm currently, ridiculously afraid of. What I'm so scared to face.
Of the challenges standing in my way throughout my journey to safely end 2012.
WHAT IF this, WHAT IF that, WHAT IF and so on.. keep on keeping me from going forth.
I am undeniably truly scared. This is only February, plus, Feb had not been over yet and I'm having doubts.
major doubts, seriously major doubts that somehow I can even think of dropping everything and settle down quietly and silently. Silent retreat.
Commitments are things you can't handle with ignorance. Once you signed up for some things, make do the job or quit. As quitting is never had been in any one's dictionary, then what's left would be DOING EM.
But how? How and how?
Am I capable of doing all of em without ignoring things that already had been around me..to truly put my heart in these things and people that actually put on a flicker of hope upon me.
SO SCARED. Ya Allah, sungguh aku takut sangat. Sungguh, macam mana kalau aku kecundang dalam perjalanan ku. Apa akan jadi kalau aku gagal melaksanakan semuanya. Tapi lebih teruk, kenapa aku buat jugak kalau minat itu dah tiada? Kenapa ada persoalan demi persoalan  yang mula mendominasi hati ini seterusnya mewujudkan kegusaran dan keresahan. Hidup memang tak selalunya indah, Demi menanti pelangi yang akan wujud jua, harus dirempuh hujan dan halilintar yang mengganggu perjalanan. Kuat kah aku? Ya Allah, InsyaAllah. Kuatkan aku.